Who Will Come?
by alternativename
Summary: Spike's experience when chained to Gile's bath tub. What really happened in the innitative? NOT THE LIGHTEST OF FICTIONS
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine; story was made up by me. This was not created for profit.

**Warning/Rating:** MATURE. Not for the under-aged or faint hearted.

**Pairing:** Spike/Hmmm. A bit of Angelus. A bit of Angel. Giles. And Riley.

**A/N:** This story has been laying around for ages. Its what was almost Betray, I had two sets of ideas and these are some of the ones I couldn't incorporate, expect overlap!

I only want this to be about 6 chapters long, its to help me get these ideas over and done with.

**Oh and:** I SUCK at first person, so this whole thing is a little cruddy.

**[S] = Spike POV**

I can hear them talking about me, but I don't really listen. I can't even remember how long I've been chained up in this demeaning prison. Blood coming once a day, consisting of just a mug full has left me too weak to even attempt escaping now. Not that I could in the first place, this bleeding chip in my head meant all they had to do was push me back down again.

It's pathetic, I'm pathetic. I need to be fed, I need a cigarette, I need a hard shot of whisky.. I need someone to.. -wait what's that? Who are they talking to? I know that voice.. Why is it filling my body with fear. I'm shaking, that voice is releasing memories i don't want. That didn't happen, none of it happened, NEVER HAPPENED.. So why is his voice here?

***G = Giles POV**

I'll have to admit I had my concerns when Buffy said that her new.. Boyfriend? Was from the Initiative. But he turned out to be very useful. He's quite keen on Hosti -I mean Spike, I suppose if you had the chance to speak to the one demon that defeated you, you'd be curious too.. I haven't let him see him yet, something in the back of my mind tells me it's not a good idea, but i know I'm just being senile. Seeing Spike is so unresponsive these days, I'd be little difference. I was considering unchaining Spike after this, his chip seemed to save us from any retaliation and now Riley was here, we didn't need him for the information we were holding him for. But Riley was worried the chip may not be so effective, so maybe I should just stop getting involved.

Oh gosh, talking about the fiendish vampire. I can't remember when i last fed him, I should go do that now.

*

Opening the door I met a frightful situation. If I'd had become accustomed to Spikes reactions and expressions, the one I met as I entered the bathroom, wasn't something I'd ever seen before.

Shaking, panting, utter fright passing through deep blue eyes. If anything was to be called normal, it would be the blood littering his jaw but on a second glance you would notice that the origins of that blood came from the pale wrists, sanctioned to hard metal cuffs. The petrified expression stayed on the pale flawless face for longer than I thought I could ever handle, but then faded as did the face itself as Spike turned away from me.

**[S]**

It had gone silent, and normally that meant that something was about to occur. Weak from lack of blood, I couldn't sense who was still in the house. Shit, there's definitely someone coming closer to this door. Please don't, please leave me. I've got to get out, I've got to get out of these chains keeping me here. I'll bite through my flesh if i have to, ouch.. Not working. Ow, fuck... No.. Ow.. Ow.. OW.. God! I'll break my bone and rip through the tendons if it means getting away. No! No, please don't be him. Please don't let it be him opening the door. Please leave me. Please..

Shame was what came through the door, carried by the Watcher. He looked at me with a look that was most probably disgust. I froze in limbo, desperately trying to salvage a form of pride -but then of course. I'm pathetic. I deserve no pride, I lost that with this chip. In that.. Place.. I give up, even the Watcher is better than me, at least he can stand. At least he has a soul, a reflection, an answer from God. What do I have? None of those, and I don't even have freedom. All these centuries of murder and feeding, just to be left without a purpose. I don't have a family, Dru -gone. Angelus... Gone. Replaced by some tight arse poof.

The Watcher was still in the room, I just want him to leave. So I can fall further into self pity, make a list of all the unjust things that had happened to me. I don't even care about blood now. Let me starve, my existence is that insignificant, if I don't feed.. I'm not really here.

"Spike.. Would you like a book, to urm. Read. You must be a little bored... What do you read? I suppose my collection would be a little boring for you.."

Is he really speaking to me? I'm not really sure, I thought i didn't exist.

"Do you have anything on vampires?

Shit, that sounded ridiculous. I really am pathetic, but someone speaking to me in a kind voice feels so good. Maybe I should just ask him to kill me now, so my last memory isn't full of pain.

***G**

He seemed to go into himself, as if his very presence faded slightly. It scared me a little, this was Spike. Robust, sharp, rude, vile, all together very unpleasant. I hadn't really noticed until now that those traits slowly had been reducing since he'd been kept here. Maybe there's nothing left of him.. Maybe he's just started to disappear. Wouldn't that be good? No more irritating prisoner, no more blood duties, no more.. Vampire in your bathroom. But he doesn't seem very much like a vampire, right now he looks very... Human. A very young, hurt, lonely human. Who's been locked in this bathroom for god knows how long now with nothing to do all day.

"Spike.. Would you like a book, to urm. Read. You must be a little bored... What do you read? I suppose my collection would be a little boring for you.."

I wasn't very sure if he heard me, he didn't seem to emerge from himself. But then a soft voice, which was so vulnerable it scared me.

"Do you have any on vampires?"

It took a second to compute, but then I realized he was probably humoring me, so I laughed politely.

"Why yes, I think I have a few. I'll bring a few in... Is that ok?"

"Yes... ...Thank you"

It was the thank you that undid me, Spike saying thank you. In a sincere tone of voice... I became... Troubled to say the least. But, also... fascinated. Here was Spike, William the Bloody. Childe of.. Oh that's a point. Was it Dru or Angelus that sired Spike..

**[S]**

I tried not to be too excited about the Watcher returning, with the books of course. And maybe some blood, I mean, I need to exist to read... I tried to resist it, busied myself with licking my wounds. Cleaning my face, wouldn't want to get any blood on the Watcher's books!

No, I wouldn't get my hopes up. What's the point? A few books and a mug of blood, didn't really live up to what counted as an existence. Maybe that was the point, I'm dead. I was made to maim and kill, to drink, to serve his Sire; -what happens when you take all those away? There's nothing left.. So maybe it's better to go now, go before you kid yourself into it being better than that..

But there might be something in the books! Something that would explain, or mention what I'm supposed to do now. Angel got his little helpers from the powers that be, maybe I'll get one from the Powers that Un-be. Maybe I'll get something..

***G**

I was little unhinged to say the least. As a Watcher I had done a lot of research into vampire behaviour. At times even allowed myself to stoop past the black and white to the murky grey waters, where I indulged into seeing them as a society of forms. Attempted to understand their bonds, which at times came very close to human familial love.

But what I saw in Spike was far murkier than that. It was brutal, it was, human pain and anguish. All I could do to reason with myself was to reiterate how many times that mass-murder had caused that look on other's faces. Remind myself that the only reason such a creature was in pain, was because it was denied the ability to spread fear and cause pain among humans.

After pacing for a few minutes, which turned out to be half an hour; I felt better. I fetched blood, blood for the creature which would much rather drain us all.. And selected a few books. It was not uncommon for vampires to wish to study, many sires forced their childes to study.. There's that question again.

Unfortunately, before I got a chance ask Spike, Buffy burst through the door pleading help with a vicious demon. Instead I shrugged my duties to Xander and asked him to deliver the books and blood instead.

**[S]**

It was a trap, a brilliantly laid trap by the Watcher. What better way to keep a someone down, than promise them a lifeline.. And deny it.

He was out there for ages, fussing doing stuff. Making noise. I desperately tried to stop listening, allow him to take his time. Not get myself too excited. But he left. I almost screamed, I almost cried. I began shaking, and the sound of the metal chains hitting against the bath tub wall nearly split my mind in half. WHY?! Why did he do that..

I always knew Darla would never come, I knew Dru was not always capable of coming. And I knew now, Angelus would never come. I'm a pack animal, I always had my sire, a sire. But now I'm stuck here and let myself, WHY DID I LET MYSELF rely on some ambivalent human who.. Who wouldn't come.

NO ONE IS COMING SPIKE, WHY ARE YOU STILL WAITING?

When Xander came to give me the blood the Watcher was supposed to bring I attempted to come to life. Maybe the boy would double the dosage.

Worse, he didn't even wait to let me finish the cup. Before leaving it on the sink. I could smell the blood but couldn't reach it.

Why are you still waiting Will? No one will come...

***G**

It was worse than a vicious demon, Buffy had thought it was a possession; I knew better. These vampires had turned mere children. Toddlers even, their small bodies hardly fit for the violence they were inflicting. There were three more children, mutilated. Spread out in a sordid fashion across roads and cars. Willow was sick, I couldn't blame her.

We finally tracked them and staked them, Buffy cried all the way home. I advised them to both sleep at Willows, and Xander caught up with us in time to walk them home.

Some nights I don't think I'm cut out to a Watcher, knowing I am the ne forcing these young people to come up against such creatures, because they are the only ones that can... I'm sickened with myself.

I see that Xander didn't give Spike the books I picked out for him..

All I can think is of how many innocent people; innocent children, he's killed. How much pain he's caused. That's probably where he learnt those expression, first hand experience. And he's probably so smug knowing that as a weak human I fell for it..

I scowl in disgust at the closed door between us, make my way upstairs to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine; story was made up by me. This was not created for profit.

**Warning/Rating:** MATURE. Not for the under-aged or faint hearted.

**Pairing:** Spike/Hmmm. A bit of Angelus. A bit of Angel. Giles. And Riley.

**A/N:** Its nice to see a few people have decided to follow this, I promise the content will be half decent; even if the firs person writing style isn't (:

Feel free to review with ideas, I'm having fun (:

[S]

I'm feeling a little detached from what I always considered reality. I think it started when I noticed the cold tap was dripping, dribbling frozen water all over my black jeans. At first I just scowled and added it to the list of things that were unjust, I shouldn't be treated like this. All I've done is follow the very clear cut rules Angelus set out for me, the rules that were my only form salvation now that I was damned; -according to him. It had taken me a good five years to get them ingrained, but it wasn't like my sire was going to tire from beating them into me. Every time I forgot or failed to accomplish whatever he wanted from me, he got the most sickening obsessive and purely maddening grin on his face, knowing that now he could reprimand me.

I hated him when he gave me that grin, so conceited in power and authoritarian. His sick mind already planning out the discipline and the sex that followed. In the end I'd get drunk off it, the dominating force that was Angelus; who knew just how to own all of you. The days after each debut I'd fawn over him, follow his every demand. He liked that for the first few nights, then he'd find it boorish and ignored me. Bark commands and then swan off with his Lady, I think that made me go a little nuts too. Pushing me to disobey him, scheme what scene I could pull that would really tip the boat. Really draw his affections back to me.

But the water managed to draw me on, I started considering whether the water was soiling or cleansing me. That little drip drip drip was the closest I've come to washing in the past week. For someone forced to stay in a bath I truly was filthy. Dried blood from quivering hands attempting to feed me, dirt and dust the hand landed on my still frame; worse, the filth from that place that I never got to eradicate. My jeans still vaguely stuck of the back of my thighs, it made me nauseous.

I hadn't seen the watcher in a long time; I think they just skipped feeding rounds for a day. Not that I'm sure it was a day, all I know for sure is that while I sat transfixed with my little 'drip drip drip' theatre, the prickle of sunrise has haunted me twice with no visit in between. I know there's a mirror across from me, and every time blood rises to my skin; in an odd bid to escape, telling me that sunlight has banished me to the shadows for another day, I hope against hope that it will shine against that mirror and end me.

No more waiting, no more disappearing, just an end. And now I have 'drip drip drip' maybe I'll be washed away before they realised. I like the sound of that; perhaps they'd think I escaped. Out smarted them. Have to forever look over their shoulders incase I made my revenge. It won't happen, the watcher's too efficient. Taped up that window good and proper, all to keep little old me nice and safe. Prick.

*G

I haven't gone near Spike in days. I'm not sure why, I know it's childish of me. I want to punish those vampires from before and luckily for me I have one at my disposal to neglect and starve at my whim. It doesn't make me a very big person, but at least I am a person. Spike isn't he's just a trick of the light that can do great impressions. The thought of him angers me, but I'm also guilty.

If anything Rupert Giles is a man of his word, why tell Spike I was bringing him books and instead refuse to bring him anything. It was only until this morning that it dawned on me Spike obviously had no idea to my change of behaviour. His only contact to the outside is.. Well me really, and I never told him about the other nights events.

Throughout the day I keep making blood and walking towards the door, and then going to get the books and walking with them. Then at the last moment I think how ridiculous I am and put them back. But I can't really find it in myself to enter that room without them; it would be truly breaking my word. This leads me to almost pick them back up again I know how pathetic it would be to turn up with now as if carrying out the friendly gesture I meant when I intended it. By then the blood has gone cold and I'm having to reheat it.

In the end I'd reheated 3 times, the last time I was so caught up in my conundrum I let it boil. It looked foul now and as I watched it cool rapidly in the cold mug I'd transferred it to, I want to opt for getting a new batch.

'stop being such a coward Rupert!' I scold myself, grabbing the mug and walking straight to the door and tentatively pushing it open.

*

If I was worried earlier that Spike could here me approach the door all those times it turns out I shouldn't have bothered. Spike didn't move an inch as I opened the door. I said his name softly and then again slightly louder. He didn't move, I'm telling myself that he's putting on an act. But really, I honestly don't think he's aware I'm there, actually, I don't think he's aware of anything. His eyes are just staring lifelessly at the taps, the pupils reluctant to make the slightest of movements.

Then I notice he's not breathing, which is an odd thing to notice in a vampire, if anything I'm really noticing that normally he always breathes. Seeing him sit so still denying me the illusion that he could be human scares me, scares me right to the bones. He looks dead. Truly dead. There is nothing alive about him. His skin is so drawn its hugging his bones, and I wonder if blood even moves under vampire flesh.

I shout his name now, really loudly and aggressively, slamming the door behind me. Wanting to make him jump, make him kid me back into thinking he's manageable. Tell me that we haven't done anything to him to make him make some detrimental change to his physical being.

In the end I grab his mouth and force his jaws open through his cheek with my thumb instantly pushing the blood down his throat. He moves them. He gasps and desperately tries to swallow the blood while attempting to start breathing all the same. When its all gone he's just panting, not really looking anywhere. There's blood all over him, it looks sickening. As if someone has just tried to drown him in a pool of blood and now he's merciless attempting to regain his breath.

I go to remove my hand from his jaw but gasp in surprise. Those eyes glance at me, but for once I am not tempted into their depths. Instead I am transfixed with the dark bruises I've somehow inflicted on him. Surely no... Vampires don't bruise... I'm hit vampires harder and not even caused a mark... I can't help but raise a hand and tentatively stroke the hallowed jaw. The already black mark stands out tremendously against his alabaster skin. Its haunting, unreal, I'm transfixed at the horrific mark that it's only when I notice Spike's shaking that I draw my hand back. His cuffs are clanking hard against the confines he's kept to, and I know I have to leave. I can't face this demon anymore, so I run like the coward I am; leaving him there.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine; story was made up by me. This was not created for profit.

**Warning/Rating:** MATURE. Not for the under-aged or faint hearted.

**Pairing:** Spike/Hmmm. A bit of Angelus. A bit of Angel. Giles. And Riley.

**A/N:** Harrah! I'm alive! Who'd have thunk it… You wonderful people seem to think my first person writing style isn't too bad! Thank you for the reviews, quite a few of you were worried that I'd be deserting this fic, NEVER! With all my fictions (unless I say so) I will always be updating.

[s]

I'm not sure how long I was watching those taps before the watcher came. At one point I was sure I became the water they excreted; I was so certain that I'd slipped down the plug and made my escape down the pipes. I'd become part of the sewage water, unidentifiable. Free, free to mix and mingle between the many other molecules of water. I'd be part of something then, I'd have others to help me. Save me. I'd be everywhere as currents would separate me down to many different pipes. Deliver me to many houses, into hundreds of kitchens. Where I'd be swallowed down by thirsty humans and then I could wreak havoc then. Maybe I'd enter their blood streams and be needed there, and the human I was in could be caught and drank by a vampire. And then I'd be really free, living my life out of some guiltless demon who could feed on whichever human that caught their fancy. I'd have a sire who cared about me, who called for me if I stayed out all night, and worry that one day I might get staked and they'd lose me.

Perhaps I'd turn someone and have my own childe. I've never done that, knowing Angelus would feel betrayed. Feel jealous and stake whichever childer I brought home, no matter how strong, how fierce. I've always known this, and now I've missed my chance.

Maybe as water I'd sneak down some pipes to where Angelus now is. Angel is. Maybe I'd fall on him on the shower and envelope him. Hold him and beg him to keep me. Maybe he'd catch me in his mouth, swallow me; keep me inside him forever more.

It was around this point that the watcher must have been in the room, I was so lost in the thought of being back with my sire that I didn't even know he was there. That and the fact that I'd gone without blood for so long I'm sure my hearing had completely shut down. Never mind my ability to sense things. Suddenly there was a hard hand on my mouth and blood pouring down my throat. FUCK. I was suddenly ripped out and away from being with Angelus. Angel. And back in the present. Into he pain of my body losing its ability to stay fortified, and the abrupt notion of blood flooding my mouth, - I swallowed hungrily.

When it was all I gone I tried to acclimatize, explain to myself why I wasn't with Angelus. Angel. It was only when I heard the watcher gasping that I noticed he was there. I knew I must be bruised, my flesh had become too fragile that the even the chaffing cuffs had begun to wear away my skin.

He was touching me. Stroking me cheek, staring at me dismayed with what he saw. I was so terrified he was enjoying it, so terrified that this was going to be just like when I was back there, in that place. That was when the bile began to rise, and my body began to shake. Fear was gripping every inch of me, I felt like begging him. 'Please take care of me. Please, PLEASE make all of this stop'.

I didn't, and then the watcher left.

*G

Some how I must have been able to fall asleep, -pretty quickly as well. Maybe I was exhausted, but I was shortly woken again barely an hour later by the sound of hard retching. It took me one slow minute to work out where it was coming from until I remembered Spike. Pulling on a shirt I sprinted down the stairs in only jogging trousers, I wasn't really considering how ridiculous I must has have looked. Pushing myself to open the door and enter the little surreal universe that was Spike, I surveyed the damage of his night of retching.

It didn't look like sick. Or any human vomit I'd see, and I'd see a lot.. It was just blood. The same consistency and colour as the blood he'd drank earlier that day. Except maybe runnier, I could see it bleeding into all the cracks on the floor as Spike retched over the side of the bath.

He'd stretched his body right over to manage that, his skin around the cuffs cut away, and if I looked too carefully at that wrist straining to keep him there, I could see bone. It wasn't bleeding, I doubt there was any blood left inside him. The bruises were still there from earlier, if anything they were just uglier. His skin was so close to the bones of his face, it was as if his cheek bones were about to burst through. Eyes screwed up in pain with crystal tears falling silently, all I could think was 'What have we done to him?'


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine; story was made up by me. This was not created for profit.

**Warning/Rating:** MATURE. Not for the under-aged or faint hearted.

**Pairing:** Spike/Hmmm. A bit of Angelus. A bit of Angel. Giles. And Riley. Maybe no one for all I know.

**A/N:** So, a year later and I'm finally back to updating this fic. A big reason as to why it's taken so long is because I lost most of chapter 4 that I'd already written, and I was sad.. So anyway, rewrote this one finally.

[S]

I didn't feel very well, I really didn't feel very well. I'd finally gotten some blood down me, but it didn't really seem to be helping. Perfect, even blood was abandoning me now. I tried to rearrange myself, to relax and wait for the curing elixir to kick in and nit together my broken flesh, perhaps fix my blurry vision.. But instead I just started getting dizzy, dizzy and very nauseous.

This wasn't a very good sign, maybe.. Maybe the Watcher had poisoned me? The thought hurt me a little, like another little bit of my certainty had been destroyed. It made sense if bonds as strong as Sire and Childe could be broken, and a vampire could be put on a leash from feeding, who said that a man you expected to be noble wouldn't suddenly take the coward's way out to kill you... Or maybe he just wanted to hurt me, there had always been rumours about the Watcher's past.. Maybe having a human shaped monster locked in your bathroom was enough to pull out the dark side in the best of people..

Fucking hell I didn't feel good, suddenly the blood inside me felt like it was turning on me. Like it had swam around a few times and decided that this wasn't the place for it, my veins hurt, my tired silent aorta hurt, my stomach hurt as it pulsed and tremble with a belly full of AWOL blood and my throat hurt as the traitorous liquid began to rise up to make it's escape.

Not my fucking duster, you don't. I didn't care about the pain anymore, I just didn't want to vomit on myself –who knew how long until it'd be cleaned up. I was filthy enough as it is, and by this point I just wanted to be clean... I wanted to be pure, and unadulterated.. I wanted to look in the mirror and see something, anything, someone who could find..

I was vomiting now, mouthfuls of blood ripping out my throat and spluttering from my tired lips. This isn't right, this is was fucking awful, this was the last thing that happens when vampires drink blood. A small thought slipped into my head.. Maybe you've been saved, maybe you've been cured, turned back, accepted back in to the arms of the holy and the living.. Maybe you just have to remove all the last traces of the demon.. Maybe it's over.

The watcher had appeared again, he didn't look too pleased. I tried to explain to him that it was all going to be better now, that he wasn't going to have to keep a demon in his bathroom any longer, that I'd been saved and any minute now..

New blood was being tipped down my throat. It tasted better, it tasted fucking fantastic. It was everything I needed, everything my body was crying out for. I could feel my arteries expanding again, slithers of flesh stitching back together, I gasped in air as my chest finally relieved the pressure of being encased in tightly wound wires, I screamed.

"NO!" I was saved, I was ready to go, to leave behind the years of parasitic life, I told him I'd be his child again, I'd walk into the light, I'd say sorry to my victims, I'd..

*G.

I didn't know what to do, he just kept retching, there must have been something wrong with the blood – who knew that you could poison a vampire? Was it the reheating, the boiling?

I skidded across the blood slick floor, rushing to the fridge to grab a blood bag, no time to heat it. Spike's position wasn't giving me any time to heat it, or maybe there was but I was just too worried about doing more damage. Returning to my patient, or prisoner, or enemy – I've not really been sure these past few days – I ripped open the packet and helped ease the red fluid down his throat.

He began screaming suddenly, I wasn't sure why – was this blood also contaminated? Did I get something else wrong?

Apparently not, after a few minutes he fell silent, barely moving except to tense his right into a fist and back again. He was staring at his hand, watching the gash on his wrist seal itself slowly. He was breathing again, I hoped everything had returned to normal.

"I thought I'd been saved.."

I didn't understand him, I wasn't sure if I wanted to. There was blood all over my hands, I felt like I'd just murdered someone, or perhaps saved them. Is that what Spike was referring to? It didn't seem likely, his expression was mortified and confused. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore, not with Spike here.. Not with William here and his peculiar predicament, which seemed to throw everything I'd learnt as a watcher out the window, and delve us into the world of murky grey morality..

He's a monster, I told myself. You can feel anything for monsters.

I wanted to leave, if I stayed any longer and involved myself further in whatever he was experiencing, I'd probably not come back the same. This was my chance to leave with my head held high, to leave a line between us and them. Between me and him.

"You don't look very well, is there anything I can do to help?"

I guess I already knew there wasn't any chance of me leaving him like this.

**A.N:**I got well into this chapter, is anyone still reading it? Should I keep updating?


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